The Linchpin of Hope and Understanding

By Jodane Mowatt

In life, whenever we’re stuck in a predicament, we say that we’re at an impasse. In chess, stalemate, and in politics, we call it gridlock. Essentially, no side can advance in the situation. No one truly wins. Progress is frozen. The conflict isn’t merely interpersonal, but a conflict stemming from the fruits of our collective labor, a la programming and social structures, from political machinery, faith infiltration to presumed ideological divides.


In politics, I’ve oscillated between faith and despair, disillusion even, and back and forth between allowing life to simply happen rather than steeling myself against the ongoing psychological and spiritual warfare. The latter takes great effort and bravery, which usually goes without praise, while the other grants us the illusion of social progress and acceptance, be it from self or our very many echo chambers. I find myself paralyzed by my curiosity with an ever-growing resentment and disbelief, not at the possibility of our Government(s) but the audacity. The brazen arrogance to keep up the facade of these social constructs as we tether closer to the daunting reality and truth about this world and the Genesis of our mind’s torment. In this way, I’ll allow life to simply happen as the scenes unfold because Christ is Truth. And truth rises like a banner over the battlefield of lies.


In theology, I’ve unintentionally embraced the concept of “Christians aren’t sinless, we just sin less,” which now sounds more like a licensure to continue in sin than encouragement to steel myself from fleshly and worldly desires. My views have changed radically on virtually every single topic you could think of, and I welcome more change as I mature in Wisdom and Understanding. This is the linchpin of my journey grappling with faith and hopelessness. I often turn to Habakkuk as I share the same sentiments and audacity to question God’s omnipotence. Lamenting and asking innocently — Why do you let me see ruin; why must I look at misery? Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and clamorous discord (Hab. 1:3). I know these are eschatological times and nothing is entirely new under the sun, but to be as weak as I am, at the age that I am, and with the knowledge I’ve been bestowed, you must understand my feelings.


For my love and knowledge of Christ, I come back every single time no matter how far I have strayed because of social and worldly temptations. I store in my heart a handful of scriptures:


  1. It is good for a [hu]man to bear the yoke from his youth (Lam. 3.27).
  2. Rejoice while you are young and let your heart be glad in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart, the vision of your eyes; Yet understand that [in doing] this God will bring you to judgment (Eccl. 11.9). 
  3. Out of the mouth of babes and infants You have ordained strength, because of Your enemies, that You may silence the enemy and the avenger (Ps. 8.3).


My writing is empirical evidence, and a timeline, of my thought processes all throughout the day, throughout my life. I find myself somewhere between a theological and political impasse, and assessing the world’s historical and theological events through this lens, but in the end, I always find myself on the Christocentric and spiritually steeled side of things. For that, I continue to have hope. I have a mustard seed of faith that despite the trajectory of the world, our Lord, our God in Heaven, will avenge the innocent, redeem the righteous, and bring judgment on the wicked.

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